As it turns out, when you have a heavy history with someone, not talking to them for years is a double edged thing. Distance, clarity, moving on, are all to the good. But there are no new memories, no different experiences to alter all those old feelings into something else. No new version of either of you to replace the ghosts.
My ex just self published a book on Amazon and I'm happy for him. But this knowledge also came with a little incidental internet stalking. And some stirring up of things I hadn't thought about in awhile.
It's a little murky in here.